The Blue Notes

Azhar stared at his iced tea. The ices melted forming a layer of plain water on top of it. 

"What are you thinking sweetie?" Sue asked Azhar as she realized that something was running through her husband's mind.

"Nothing" Azhar denied. He forced a smile to Sue. Sue is his everything; his queen, his happiness, his baby, his lovely wife and everything nice. "She doesn't deserve anything bad at all" Azhar thought to himself. 

But, lots of things going through his mind right now.

He just got his monthly salary, but those money were spent for house rent, household expenses, and all his daughter's necessities; milk formula, diapers, nursery fee etc. Malaysia living cost keeps exhausting people like him right now. Perhaps that's the reason people are fighting and cheating on other people's money. 

"Ohh honey. Look at this. Someone is selling cute dolls here. They are so cute! Can we buy this for Lily? She loves Mr Patrick!" Sue said with full of excitement in her eyes. Oh Lily. Azhar's princess; just like Sue, she's also his everything. 

Azhar took a peek in his wallet. "Which one should we buy for her?"

"Lily definitely will love this Mr Patrick. Ohh but this Strawberry Shortcake looks cute too!"

"Let me ask her if we could take both for only RM30. If not, maybe next time okay sweetheart" Azhar tried to explain without feeling guilty.

"Ohh, yeah I forgot. Nevermind, dear. If we don't have that much money, it can wait" Sue smiled.

******************************************************************************

"Sure, sir. You can take them for 30."

The young couple soon came to take the cute dolls. They just rode a motorcycle with their daughter sitting in front inside the basket. They look so cute and sweet.

"Here the money." Azhar counted again.

"Thank you for buying" Anna received the money. There were lots of blue note and only one red note. 

Anna felt touched. Somehow it reminds her of how hard for her father to buy her toys previously. 

She remembered how excited she was to get any toys from her Dad, even it's just less than RM5 stuffs. 

She remembered how her father checked all his pockets to see any notes left there so that maybe he could buy something for her. 

She remembered how her parents took her everywhere by just riding a motorcycle.

She remembered how Gracious God is for giving her family all the things she have now. 

She remembered. 

"May God bless your family too sir. Surely God will give you. You just don't have to worry." Anna pray quietly.

15th Ramadhan 1435H

Assalamualaikum and greetings :)

Second post. For 15th Ramadhan. Ohh I was at my Mak Long's house. And it's just my mak long and I are the only women that can fast. Yang lain semua cutiiiii. And yup, alhamdulillah managed to do tahajjud. It was really peaceful, cause it's quiet. The others (yang cuti puasa) are still sleeping. 

Ohh today's subuh is not that awesome cause I perform it alone. Usually, there will be me and Fathin who perform solat subuh together. But now I'm not at home. Hahaha rindu pulak kita kat Fathin hiks. So, I gave her a morning text. And she told me she was so sad and frustrated cause she didn't wake up far sahur. Hahaha. Kesian betul. The whole house didn't wake up for sahur. I wonder if there was malaikat coming to our home that time, he might be wondering 'why this house is so dark today? usually it's not that dark like this' hahaha. 

That morning, I went out with Ibu, Adik, Mak Long, Afeefa, Akma and Aina. We went to Jalan TAR. Shopping!!! Girls day out! hahaha. It was really exhausting. Ibu is under that category of 'the most challenging women to dealt during shopping' She walked really fast, and she didn't care about how hot the weather. Power tak power ibu gua ni? Haha. 

Later in the evening, Ayah sent me back to Subang. We dropped by at Bazaar Ramadhan USJ4 first. Ayah kept repeating "ishh mahalnyaaa. beli untuk kakak je lah. ayah beli tempat lain lah" hahaha. What to do ayah, This is Subang Jaya memang ada gaya~ macam hari-hari, hari raya~ Ohh haaa during our food hunting, I saw this one old woman with her daughter on her lap seeking for sedekah. I just ignore her. Soon, as my family and I walked further, we saw them again!!!! The same woman and the same kid! My heart pounded fast. Yang pasti, it might not be a ghost cause it's Ramadhan. It probably really a human or I don't know some kind of test?!! Cause I heard some people told that sometimes Allah tests us by bringing a person (or malaikat) to test us. Well, it might be a test for me to see whether I could give something to those kind of people or not. But, I didn't succeed to give anything to them. And once I thought that thing back, I feel regret, cause I thought I've failed the test. So, next time, whenever you see those people or the opportunity to donate or give something, give anything that you have. Lessons learnt!

Tarawih at surau today was really err merepek? I felt really sleepy for the first 4 rakaat. Thank God, someone is so nice to give tazkirah between the 4th and the next rakaat. I felt little motivated and could continue focus really hard on the next rakaat of tarawih. I'm so afraid to lose the connection to Allah. Cause lately there are so many distractions. Aaaaaa I thought that I'm strong, but I'm actually really reeeaalllyyy weak T.T

Till the next post! :)

Love,

Me, Myself and I.

14th Ramadhan 1435H

Assalamualaikum and greetings :)

Muahahaha izinkan hamba menulis berderet-deret memandangkan sudah 3 hari blog senyap tanpa khabar berita kakaka. So, hye! This post is for 14th Ramadhan. As far as that I could recall (sorry if the post has recall bias haha), nothing much interesting today. I only remember that I went to iftar with my fellow ex-classmates haha. I chose to wear black jubah cause it's comfy and easy if I suddenly stuck in somewhere or surau that has not enough telekung to supply for everyone, so takyah nak berebut telekung nanti. 

I've promised Teha to be at Kelana Jaya at 4.30 but I end up being there at 6. Walawehh dasar janji melayu! Hahaha talking bout promises, I've encountered to an Instagram photo of fynnjamal which tells about how wrong to make a promise if you can't fulfill it. Cause we don't own the time. We don't own even a second. Allah owns it. Yeap! Lessons learnt.

As we reached Kg Baru, ohhh we're going to have iftar at Stable Steak House tenenenene. The restaurant is amazing. Nampak macam kecik and macam gerai biasa je but the decorations are superb! I've ordered chicken chop, but I felt so regretful afterwards, hahaha cause I should order pastaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I love pasta and their pasta is sooooo delicious I can die!!!!! hahahaha. Ohh I met Teha, Fendi, Fais and Ummi! Aaaaa it has been long time and this year's iftar, there were just 5 of us sobs. But that's fine. Still, lots of stories being shared, laughter and love!

I should've ordered pastaa T.T

This is my lovely Kak Teha

These are Ummi (left) and Fais (right)

This is Fendi :D

Haaa as I've expected, that surau at LRT got no telekung haha! Haaa kan senang, you just need to shoohh people '..tolong tepi sikit~~ cause you got no telekung~' then kau solat je kat situ. After maghrib, we went to klcc to meet Fazuan!!!! Yeah, He's back from US. Dah macam retis kot nak jumpa dia punya payah. Alhamdulillah, He permit us to meet yeayy! Spent little time in ront of the fountain, watching the water dancing in colours with music, so lovely! Ohh and our photographer, Fendi kept doing his job taking pictures here and there. I like to see people taking shots and using their skills in taking photos (except for mobile photography takyah cakap lah, tangkap gambor celah mana pun nampak cantik je). I only took photos for memories and keeping moments haha. So, I don't care if the lighting is not good or what, cause if I see a photo, I see the whole moments, the whole situation in my mind. 

Then, I went to my Mak Long's house cause my family is already there. I went back with Fendi cause his house is in Sg Besi too! Hahaha. We went to BTS by train (1st time get into ERL!! Haha) and then Fendi drove me to Rumah Mak Long. And somehow the situation in the car reminiscing me back to memories with Izzemal. Yeap, I am a person who likely to attach to moments and memories. I hate this feelinggggggg!!!!! Do I miss Izzemal? No no nooooo. I don't miss him. I just miss the moments. probably. I think. aaaaaa T.T 

As I reached Rumah Mak Long, my family members are there, and so family Mak Teh and Afeefa too! Orang ni pulak baru balik dari Cardipp hahaha. Kak Lia je takde. Rindu jugak dengan Kak Lia. And with the courage to not get drifted away, I chose to perform tarawih alone. And I pray for the strength whenever I'm weak, the peace whenever I feel things get complicated, and the guidance whenever I feel lost. I'm that strong the first moment I break up with Izzemal, but sooner I'm getting weak. The memories keep chasing me. 

Shooh memories, shooh shohhh!!! :(

Today's tafsir;

"(Iaitu) Orang yang disebut nama Allah, maka gementarlah hati mereka; orang yang sabar terhadap apa yang menimpa mereka, orang yangmendirikan solat dan orang yang menafkahkan sebahagian daripada apa yang telah Kami rezekikan kepada mereka" (Al-Hajj:35)

Love,

Me, Myself and God.

MBBS years, bring it on!

Assalamualaikum and greetings :)

Woww. I'm currently sitting on my bed in my new house. And guess what?

I'm officially a degree student!

Wooooohoooo~~ Can you believe that? No? Me either! Haha. So, new house, new environment, and new stage of life. Anxious, excited, nervous, freaking. They're all just mixed up. 

I was sooooo excited at first to start study. But at the end of my holidays, I felt really awful.

First, I've spent those 3 months of holidays at home with family and my best friends. I think that's the longest period I've been at home. Having your family who would prepare your meals and being with you all the time, chilling with your best friends everyday (tak everyday sangat lahh) are all that you need. So, it's quite hard, err no, it's reeeally hard to just let those things go just because you need to go somewhere far to chase your another BIG dream!

Then, there the tears go. I remember every single little tiny things that my parents have told to me. Lots and lots of them. Especially when they remind me on how I should be cautious in my studies as they don't want me to repeat my mistakes during my foundation period. My parents really succeed to break my egoistic wall as gallons of tears streaming down on my face. I don't know. Hmm I've been in boarding school for 5 years but this is the worst homesick feeling ever! And I was shocked to see Ibu cried after hugging me. There, I also succeed breaking her egoistic wall. She's not that mean virulent, or heartless as I thought. She does care but she just never show it. Meanwhile, Ayah was pretending so cool during the last goodbye. He said "Dah. Jangan sedih-sedih. Happy go lucky. Senyum sikit" Aaaaaaaaaaaa now I'm crying. Haha :')

Ouh and I do miss my buddies a lot. Haha.

New stage of life. Lots of things I should handle by myself. Financial planning and management, time management, studies, physical and mental health, my own safety living in this spooky scary urban areas full of silent crimes everywhere fuhhh. 

But yeahh, those are the challenges in this stage of life. I just need to survive, and learn. Perhaps you should too.

And just found out about Declaration of Geneva today. Probably it would be my oath too :)

AT THE TIME OF BEING ADMITTED AS A MEMBER OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION (medical student for now hihi) :

• I SOLEMNLY PLEDGE to consecrate my life to the service of humanity;
• I WILL GIVE to my teachers the respect and gratitude that is their due;
• I WILL PRACTICE my profession with conscience and dignity;
• THE HEALTH OF MY PATIENT will be my first consideration;
• I WILL RESPECT the secrets that are confided in me, even after the patient has died;
• I WILL MAINTAIN by all the means in my power, the honour and the noble traditions of the medical profession;
• MY COLLEAGUES will be my sisters and brothers;
• I WILL NOT PERMIT considerations of age, disease or disability, creed, ethnic origin, gender, nationality, political affiliation, race, sexual orientation, social standing or any other factor to intervene between my duty and my patient;
• I WILL MAINTAIN the utmost respect for human life;
• I WILL NOT USE my medical knowledge to violate human rights and civil liberties, even under threat;
• I MAKE THESE PROMISES solemnly, freely and upon my honour.

InsyaAllah amiin :)

Say bye to childhood times,

Say hye to the new adult version of me (in the making lahh),

Say no to  run away from problems,

Say yes to fight fight fight.

What am I waiting for? Let's rock the MBBS years yaw! 

-Aqilah Rosli-

Seteruk-teruk Mohanadas Nagappan mendaki, akhirnya sampai Gunung Everest juga

Assalamualaikum and greetings :)

Hey it has been sooo long aku tak menaip. Hee. (Ayat intro sentiasa sama). Apa perkembangan saya? Tiada apa apa yang berkembang. Badan saya pun semakin menguncup akibat tidak selalu makan. Eh ye ke? Tak jugak la. Cuma minggu ni I'm not feeling like eating this week. Why? Sebab mood aku tak berapa baik for this whole week. A little problems came up. Okay not too little la, sebab sampai buat aku nangis kan. Haha Hmm. *bunyi kipas

So, apa yang aku nak share? Yeah,you guys are so lucky because I'm gonna share my problem here. Err, okay not so lucky la. Who has the sympathetic ears, eh tak, eyes to read, just read. I don't blog to inspire people, I blog just to share. 

Aku rasa down gilaaaa minggu ni. Just received my quiz marks. Out of 2.5, Bio got 1.8, Physics got 1.6, Chemistry only got 1.1. How sucks would that be. Tu pun Bio aku nasib baik lah lecturer buat pop quiz untuk top up markah quiz aku yang teruk. Aku rasa macam.... entahlah. That feelings just mix up. As the result, kilang air mata aku bocor, maka melimpahlah segala air mata. :'(

I did call my dad before. I just hold my tears as possible as I could. Suara tergagap gagap bercakap. 

Me : Hello ayah! Ayah buat apa? Kat mana tu?

Ayah : Ayah kat rumah la. Takde buat apa. Kenapa? (nada macam dah tahu aku ada masalah)

Me : Takde apa. Saje call. (nada watlek watpis, padahal dah sebak)

Ayah : Ouh. Sihat ke? Dah makan?

Me : Sihat je. Makan dah. 

Ayah : Haa quiz hari tu macam mana?

Me : Hmm teruk la ayah. (tergagap gagap dan sesak dada) 

Ayah : Teruk macam mana? Tak boleh buat ke apa?

Me : Buat tu boleh la, cuma banyak salah. (senyap)

Ayah : Takpe la. Usaha la lagi. Belajar lagi. Kurangkan fb tu, kalau tak faham, tanya kawan, tanya lecturer.

Me : (mata bergenang) Hmm okay. 

*the conversation continued....

Aku hanya mampu tahan menangis. Aku tak sanggup menangis depan ayah. Memang la ayah aku cakap "takpe, takpe..." but I know deep inside him dia mesti disappointed. And aku kena tahan menangis, aku taknak bagi dia risau. Sebab kalau aku menangis, dialah orang pertama yang akan risau. Aku dah banyak susahkan dia. So, I don't want to trouble him again. At least, not at this time. Aku dah besar. Kena pandai jaga diri. Kena pandai settle masalah sendiri. Aku taknak parents aku susah hati.

 

But tahan punya tahan pun, memang tak tahan. Kilang air mata akhirnya bocor juga. And that time, aku teringat bila aku ada problem macam ni dulu, Khaliq tempat aku gain semangat. Haha. Sebenarnya, dia takde lah pandai sangat nak naikkan semangat orang but since he's my inspiration, so apa apa yang dia cakap, semua dapat pulihkan semangat aku. And there I go...calling Dato' Khaliq. Haha.

calling....

Him : Hello?

Me : Hello khaliq. (tersedu tersedan) *inhale exhale*

Him : Qeelah? Kenapa ni?

Me : (senyap)

Him : Hey...

Me : Quiz...semua teruk....Chemis....fail...

Him : Laa...Jangan lah macam ni. Taknak la sedih. Biasa lah tu. Kadang kadang kita kat atas, kadang kadang kita jatuh. 

Me : Takut la pointer teruk nanti. :(

Him : Takde. Qeelah mesti boleh buat punya. 

Me : Tadi call ayah. Ayah cakap "takpe, takpe..." tapi Qila tau dia mesti kecewa.

Him : Takde la. Dia lagi bangga ada. Qila berani tangani benda tu. Qila tak takut bagitau dia. 

Me : (lap lap air mata) Lecturer cakap, kalau setakat Bio dapat cukup makan, keep dreaming on je la nak masuk MBBS. Qila macam tak layak je nak jadi doktor.

Him : Tak. Qeelah mesti boleh buat punya.

*and the conversation continued....

Ayah and Khaliq. These two guys yang selalu yakinkan aku yang aku akan jadi doktor yang bagus satu hari nanti.:') 

 

Yeah. And aku rasa at this time, zaman kejatuhan aku sudah muncul.

I used to be antara top students. (Hamboi, pandai je label sendiri top students) I mean, academic aku okay la. Tak pernah jejak fail. And I used to have good leadership. Now, everything seems to disappear.

Aku jadi leader untuk Chemistry Project. But I just don't know how to control them. Mostly, I just accepted all their ideas. Aku ada la bahagi bahagi tugas. Tapi mesti ada yang tak kena. Aku lupa bawak prosedur la. Tak reti nak cari barang kat mana. Tak tau siapa boleh buat benda ni, Siapa pandai handle benda ni. I have no problems with my group. It's just me myself think and wondering whether I've played a good role as a leader or not? Haihhh.

So, my point here is aku rasa Zaman Kejatuhan aku sudah tiba. Aku rasa maybe sebab aku tak pernah rasa jatuh tu macam mana. Lebih lebih lagi, kena settle sendiri benda ni. Taknak parents risau. So, that's why. I need more time to regain back my strength. Bak kata Khaliq, "Kadang-kadang kita kat atas, kadang-kadang kita jatuh". So, maybe aku selalu duduk kat atas. This is the time aku kena jatuh. I need to accept it, so aku takkan rasa selesa sangat. Because that comfort sometimes can kill us. I should learn how to be strong by now. 

 

Alhamdulillah ya Allah, you give me this test. :') Guide me to face this. Amiin. 

So, that's all for now. Sekian sahaja perkembangan saya yang tak berapa nak berkembang ni. Bye!

-Aqilah Rosli-

Thanks and Goodbye :')

Assalamualaikum and greetings dear babygirls babyboys :)

Hari ni hari jumaat. Haa. Hari di mana kita kena banyakkan ibadah. Haa. Yang laki tuu, dah pergi solat jumaat belum? Apa? Belum? Memang lah belum masuk waktu pungg lagii. Haha. So, what am I gonna talk in this post? Haha. Mesti tertanya-tanyakan.

Esok pula hari Sabtu. 14/1/2012. Hari pendaftaran saya ke Taylor's University Lakeside Campus. I'm gonna attend for Foundation is Science for a year and if ada rezeki pointer aku maintain 3.0 above, I'll take MBBS kat sana jugak for 5 years. :)

Haih. So, total is 6 years baby, 6 years y'know. Haih. Bila nak kahwin? hahahaha. Wowww. Ke situ pulokk. Kidding lahh. Aku nak concentrate jadi doctor duluu. Baru lah nak pikir benda benda luar alam ni. Sebab aku baru kachiwa. Haha. Pasal apa, malas dah nak cerita. Lagipun saya bahagia sekarang, ramai yang dah buat saya bahagia. Alhamdulillah. 

Di kesempatan ini, saya ingin menyampaikan sedikit ucapan sebab saya takde masa nak berceloteh panjang. Saya dah nak pack barang masuk dalam kereta dah. :(

Dear ibu and ayah, thanks for susahkan diri cari duit untuk Kakak belajar. Kakak akan belajar elok-elok.

Dear Wani Halim, thanks sebab selalu bela aku and tenangkan aku bila aku ada masalah. Call me if you need me. :)

Dear Fais Nurnajwa, thanks sebab happykan aku sepanjang lepas SPM ni. Aku PASTI rindukan, rindu study lirik lagu, rindu meeting, rindu berdrama, and and rindu kau. Jaga persatuan janda kita leklok ehh.

Dear Fatin Syazwani, thanks sebab selalu menyokong kemerepekan aku tentang Conan. Haha. Doakan aku tau. Kalau jadi kenyataan, aku tuntut satu dulang dari kau and satu lagi dari Fais Nurnajwa.

Dear Amira Shafie, thanks sebab bawak aku jalan-jalan hari tuu. Kau jaga diri, ye kakak! :)

Dear Alia Muspauji, thanks selalu berborak dengan kiteww. Ada masa kita jumpa and gosip lagi ehh. Haha.

Dear Hafeez Iskandar, err thanks jugak sebab berborak dengan Qila. Haha. Err haa. Jangan lupa, gaji pertama Ee, belanja Qila okay. Semoga menjadi engineer berjaya di Uniten.

Dear Muhaimin Mokhtar, thanks sebab dengar rintihan aku yang mengada-ngada nih. Haha. Sorry la banyak susahkan kau. Wani Halim tu memang emo.

Dear Amirul Asyraf, thanks ahh selalu borak-borak. Sorry tak dapat keluar dengan kau. Tak sompek. :(

Dear Khaliq Ramli, thanks for the memories and and and entah tak tahu nak cakap apa lagi. Goodbye and go die happy with Mia. Semoga mendapat petunjuk. Haha.

Dear Harith, thanks jugak kerana happykan Aqilah Rosli. You always understand me. 

Dear all readers, sorry akan tinggalkan blog ini lama. Haha. Ada masa, saya update okayy. :)

Wahai kalian, saya akan merindui kalian. Takpe lah kalau kalian tak rindu saya pungg, haha. Maafkan segala kesalahan saya, doakan saya yang terbaik dan sentiasa dilindungi oleh-Nya. 

Ouh ouh. Kalau ada pape, rindu rindu kiteww ke, text lah, call lah. Kalau free, saya reply lahh. Kalau tak, maaflah. Saya juga tak akan aktif sangat di FB dan blog, but saya akan cuba beraktif di TWITTER. Haha. 

 

So long farewell to you my friends,

Goodbye for now until we meet again. :)

-Aqilah Rosli-