Assalamualaikum and greetings :)
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. This post is special I guess. I'm typing with lots of love. From the deepest of my heart. Cause this 16th Ramadhan brought some lessons to me.
I woke up for sahur. Had the chance to make fried rice. Alhamdulillah. Sadly, I was performing subuh prayer alone, cause Fathin was in the toilet for quite sometime and everyone else are still sleeping. I felt really sleepy to wait for others, so I performed subuh prayer by myself and jumped into my bed afterwards.
To my surprise and full of disappointment and frustration, I opened my eyes at 12. I missed dhuha, I missed my group discussion, and literally I missed the whole day! I was really really and really frustrated that I can't even do anything else. I gave up. The day is over. That's it. I wasn't able to do anything pun.
I am really disappointed with myself. I laid my body onto the couch and closed my eyes again. I gave up! I kept mumbling and sighing aaaaaa T.T
Then, I remembered that my girls and I are going to have iftar at Islamic International University (UIA) Gombak then. Grrr thank God I managed to get my ass into the shower again, AGAIN! Then, yeap we're heading to UIA.
As we reached there, the view and the environment were fascinating! We met Kak Khaulah. She bought us some food and so we have our iftar at the mosque. Lots of people there. And the mosque is very huge! During iftar, I saw a Palestine donation and so I gave some. Remember, it's a test from Allah. I don't want to fail it again!
Then, we performed maghrib prayer. There as a short tazkirah after that. The speaker is presentable I could say. His language style memang coolio habis! Rasa nak dengar lagi dan lagi. He talked about an ayat in surah As-Sajjadah where people REGRET after the truth has been revealed from their God, but by that time, everything was too late. He told us not to waste our time. You must ensure things that you do NOW would not make you regret afterwards. You have only NOW. And by now, you should do everything the best that you could. Cause Islam told us to do best and achieve the best in everything. Not to just PASS in something. And there are 2 types of people who regret; 1- They regret, but then they keep improving from time to time. 2- They regret, but they give up. They don't bother to improve cause they believe that Allah has made them that way, so they just want to be themselves without improving anything. So, which one are you? Which one is me? I am that in no. 2 sobs T.T I gave up to things for today. Padahal the time is still there. I supposed could have good zuhur, good asar and the whole good evening, but I gave up so soon. His tazkirah really striked me to the core of my heart. Lessons learnt!
And so then, we performed tarawih. Until 8 rakaat, I moved to the back, cause I usually do only 8. I read quran for a while. Nadia was continuing tarawih. But then, Fathin also joined them. Danggg! They are so tempting! I don't know, but I could feel like Allah is seducing me hahahaha. And I'm afraid to feel REGRET of not doing 20 while I was in UIA (a good place, good environment). Alang-alang dah sampai tempat baik, baik buat benda baik sehabis baik :) Dah serik rasa menyesal, so better join them. Alhamdulillah, achievement unlocked!
I was smiling when I thought back how tempting the jemaah is, until I succeed to join them haha. After tarawih, we decided to go for food hunting hihi. The night sky is so bright. It was so peaceful. :) So, food hunting begins. I suggested to go to Char Kuey Teow Mali's Corner Danau Kota. Hahahaha. Lama tak makan char kuey teow woi! So, char kuey teow here we come! I was nervous too to reach there cause, y'know Mali's Corner is located in Taman Bunga Raya. I've been there with Izzemal once. It's really near to his grandmother's house. Fuhh. But I thought nothing would happen lahh, Izzemal doesn't like char kuey teow anyway. "Mee mee je lah, mengada nak char kuey teow. Pelik kot kuey teow ni!" Yang pelik here is him actually, kan? Char kuey teow tak pelik okay! #TeamForeverCharKueyTeow Wait, why I talked about him anyway? Next!
We lost the first time finding Mali's Corner. Hahahaha jumpa rumah Cik Mali kat corner jalan rupanya. Gila doh waze ni. The second trial was a success. Jumpa pun! So, yeahh. Mari makan char kuey teow! Again, time time ni lerr, memory came. $#1+ I kept myself to be strong, remember Allah, remember I only want to bring my girls eat, not to bring the memories. Fuhh. But yeahh my girls also are really helping. They make me smile and laugh. They don't even know I've been here with Izzemal. Let it be. I enjoyed the moment.
After fulling our tank, hahaha we went home. Again, lost here and there. And again, memory came. Izzemal and I usually got time going out together and when it's midnight and we're on our way back to Subang, there were slow songs in the car, empty street and silent moment. I enjoy that moment. I really did. (hahahaha mata berkaca danggg) But things that I thought good for me, might not actually good for me kan. Only He knows while I don't know. But nevermind, that day, Allah let me enjoy the moment again but with my girls. Now I know. He didn't get me into places and situation that I've been before to cause me pain or to reminiscing me back what has passed. He puts me here to teach me that I still could enjoy the moment, such situation with other people, with people that He chose to be there with me, with my girls. :D Cause that good moments didn't come from people, specific people, it comes from Him, through things that He had chosen. Lessons learnt!
So I stopped reminiscing those things. I chose to enjoy the moments that Allah bring to me.
Allah loves me so much, He guided me with many lessons and through many situations. I only need to reflect. That's all. Fuhh.
"Dan alangkah ngerinya, jika sekiranya kamu melihat orang-orang yang berdosa itu menundukkan kepalanya di hadapan Tuhannya dan mereka merayu, "Ya Tuhan kami, kami telah melihat dan mendengar, maka kembalikanlah kami (ke dunia), nescaya kami mengerjakan kebajikan. Sesungguhnya kami sekarang telah yakin" (As-Sajjadah:12)
Me, Myself and God.